KLEIN'S LAWS
Truths and Observations by Chuck Klein and others
***** Copyright 1998 - 2008, Chuck Klein *****
Truths and Observations by Chuck Klein and others
***** Copyright 1998 - 2008, Chuck Klein *****
Copyright 1998 - 2008
Chuck Klein, www.ChuckKlein.com
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW:
No Lying, No Cheating, No Stealing. No Exceptions, No Excuses."
| Chuck Klein holds a Bachelor of Laws Degree; has a combined 25 years experience as a police officer and licensed private investigator; author of many books. He may be contacted through his web site: www.ChuckKlein.com |
"KLEIN'S LAW OF LAWS:
We are NOT a nation of laws - we are a nation of constitutions. Laws, statutes, court decrees, presidential edicts are subservient to constitutions."
"KLEIN'S CONSTITUTIONAL LAW:
The Constitution should be amended to say: For every new law, statute or ordinance - two must be repealed."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF AMERICAN JURISPRUDENCE:
American justice may be blind, but human frailties and political pressure tempts peeking by the justices themselves."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF JUDICIAL IMPARTIALITY:
When a judge imparts his instructions or charges to a jury; that jury is no longer impartial."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF EMPLOYMENT:
Everyone should have at least one job in his or her lifetime where they start each day with the revelation, 'You mean they pay me to do this?'"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF SALES OR OTHER REQUESTS:
The worst they can do is say: 'No.'"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF ONE'S DUTY TO SOCIETY:
Everyone should put something back into his or her community."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF THE FUTURE:
The longevity of any republic or democracy is dependent upon: The 4th Estate's ability to identify and expose the 5th Column(s) in a manner framed by the 4th Dimension."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF GOVERNMENT:
The number of voters impacted by government-originated funds is directly proportional to the proliferation and power of government and inversely proportional to the ideals of a republic."
"KLEIN'S THEORY OF TIME:
When it comes to discovering the origins of the universe, all the earth/orbit telescopes, X-ray/radio scopes and infrared/laser gizmos are inconsequential should man conquer the 4th dimension."
"KLEIN'S COROLLARY TO KLEIN'S THEORY OF TIME:
G_d may not have provided mere mortals with the ability to conquer the 4th dimension, as thus empowered, man might be tempted to alter His plans and designs."
"KLEIN'S COROLLARY TO EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELATIVITY:
All matters that are not matters of matter, are matters of perspective."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF LIFE:
The secret to life is the ability to adapt to change."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF LIFE:
To a parent, nothing, absolutely nothing, can emulate the loss of a child."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF LIFE:
It is a blessing if our parents are spared the pain and anguish of out-living us. We are, however, always astounded to be blessed so soon."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF LIFE:
Living outside the lines tends to spawn euphoric frustrations which ofttimes is the only route to deep personal satisfaction."
"KLEIN'S 5th LAW OF LIFE:
Regrets haunt...not for the things we did, but for the things we didn't do."
"KLEIN'S 6th LAW OF LIFE:
Upon attaining the age of four score, the question that comes to mind is: 'Do I have 20 years, 20 days or 20 minutes?'"
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF G_D's EXISTENCE:
G_d exists, because without him we wouldn't."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF G_D's EXISTENCE:
That inner voice you hear every time you're about to do something wrong. . . is G_d speaking to you."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF G_D's EXISTENCE:
G_d has blessed us all, it's just that some of us have a difficult time recognizing it."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF RIGHTS:
Rights are only such when they don't infringe upon the rights of others. One's right to swing his fist ends where the other person's nose begins. Of course, if one keeps his fist concealed in his pocket he is violating no one's rights. On the same token, for example, if a law-abiding citizen goes about his legal business with a firearm concealed in his pocket he is no more infringing the rights of any other person than the theater-goer who keeps the word "fire" concealed in his mouth."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF RIGHTS:
All Americans have the right to remain silent; many, however, don't have the ability."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF SCHOOLS:
Framing the 10 Commandments in our schools might work for some, but posting the first 10 Amendments would work for all."
"KLEIN'S MARITAL LAW FOR MEN:
Any man who admits to his wife that he can sometimes be dumb, can get away with a lot of dumb stuff."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
Some people seem to have more dollars than sense."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
The middle ground between the far left and ultra right."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
The ability to know when to stick your nose in your neighbor's business and when to ignore him."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF COMMON SENSE:
The space between unmitigated hatred and unquestioning faith."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF DREAMS:
Never being able to satiate aspirations is better than not having any fantasies at all."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF VOTING:
Any politician that doesn't trust me, a law-abiding, trained citizen, with a firearm to protect myself and my family, clearly cannot be trusted with other matters of importance."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF OUTRAGE:
The resentment and contempt we gun owners have toward the anti-gunners is not that they are exercising their 1st Amendment right to redress our government - it's the outrage that they work to infringe our 2nd Amendment right via laws and court orders rather than seeking to amend the Constitution."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF SURVIVAL:
The second to last thing a morally responsible, prudent person wants to do is kill another human being regardless of how reprehensible, villainous or dangerous that person might be. The last thing this morally responsible, prudent person wants to do is be killed by that reprehensible, villainous and dangerous person."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF SURVIVAL:
All the rules, statutes, restraining orders, 911 calls, hand to hand combat technics, aerosol spray Mace or other pseudo protective measures will never equal the effectiveness of a firearm when faced with an unwarranted and deadly criminal attack."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If you're ever in a situation where another person is about to murder you, at that moment, you'd trade all your worldly possessions for a firearm. And, if that threat was to kill your child or your grandchild, you'd sell your soul for a gun."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Knowing how to shoot is the easy part. Knowing when is the important part."
"KLEIN'S 5th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Losing a gun battle is forever; but the aftermath of surviving a firefight, with the possibility of criminal prosecution and civil suit, might be worse."
"KLEIN'S 6th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If you believe that psychological tough talk will enable you to bluff your way out of a dangerous situation, you might be wrong...dead wrong. Super-predators - losers with nothing to lose - can't be bluffed."
"KLEIN'S 7th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
There's lots worse things than being killed by some thug - one is: watching a family member die at the hands of this thug because you were to much of a fool - or coward - to carry a gun."
"KLEIN'S 8th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
If all the guns in the world could somehow be magically removed; the weak, frail and vulnerable would have no way of protecting themselves from the thugs with bats, clubs and knives."
"KLEIN'S 9th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
All Americans have the inherent and constitutional right to be free of fear from armed citizens. However, this right does not extend to usurping or disparaging other American's inalienable 2nd and 9th Amendment rights to be free of fear from thugs intent on doing them harm."
"KLEIN'S 10th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Proper training is the key to surviving attacks - lethal as well as litigious."
"KLEIN'S 11th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Always fight a fair fight - by your definition of fair, of course."
"KLEIN'S 12th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Always error on the side of force."
"KLEIN'S 13th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
A two-pronged premeditated attack is better than a defensive retaliation."
"KLEIN'S 14th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
In the opening round of any battle, never strike less than twice."
"KLEIN'S 15th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Self preservation notwithstanding, toe to heal battles are for heals."
"KLEIN'S 16th LAW OF SURVIVAL:
Survival depends upon paranoia becoming prudence long before pogroms and flying bullets."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF GENEROSITY:
The measure of one's generosity is not how much, but how much in relation to how much is available."
"KLEIN'S DEFINITION OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
A rhetorician, with a virtuosity complex, who ignores the rule of law to further a political agenda."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF PSEUDO RACIAL DISCRIMINATION:
It does not make one a racist if they don't want to live next to or go to school with or frequent a business where certain persons flaunt an attitude, dress in prison garb, use foul language, trash the neighborhood, commit crimes or force their music on them . . . none of which have anything to do with race, religion or national origin."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF AMERICANIZATION:
Those who fail to assimilate, to meld into the melting pot, are doomed to being the outcast."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF QUID PRO QUO:
In a Republic, if the Government takes your property under their powers of eminent domain, they must compensate you. They also have the power to lay taxes to build and maintain roads, sewers and other needs that benefit the entire community. But there is no quid pro quo when your tax money is given to victims of hurricanes, floods or other natural - but insurable - catastrophes."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WAITING:
The length of the wait in any waiting room is inversely proportional to the quality of the reading material."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF JAIL CROWDING:
The number of police officers in any political jurisdiction is directly proportional to the number of persons arrested and inversely proportional to the time of incarceration."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF THEFT:
Never steal less than you can successfully hide and comfortably retire on - after you get out of prison."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF IRONY:
A liberal is one who will staunchly support to the death all of his fellow American's constitutional rights - except one, the 2nd Amendment. Ironically that's the one he might need to successfully win the fight."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF COPS & ROBBERS:
It's just as exciting to be the chaser as it is the chasee; the significant difference being, the chaser gets to go home at night and then do it again the next day."
"KLEIN'S PUBLIC SAFETY LAW:
Any firefighter or police officer who doesn't believe that cowardice is a fate worse than death, is in the wrong business."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF SOCIETAL PERPETUATION:
The survival of any society is dependent upon the balance of pro-active to re-active enforcement of its laws."
"KLEIN'S LAW FOR CRIMINALS:
Carry on fool, Hell ain't half full."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WORDS:
Never argue semantics with a writer - it's their stock in trade."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
We all live up/down wind/stream from each other."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
Thou shalt not harvest or sell any wild animal or plant for commercial purposes."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
When international demand exceeds supply of finite resources, war is inevitable."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF PLANET EARTH:
Unless we voluntarily return to pre-1900 world population levels - global warming, pollution and/or famine - will do it for us."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF DISASTER SURVIVAL:
Disaster Survival is more a state of mind than the amount of supplies you can put away."
KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF LEGACY:
Though some might last have greater impact and all are subjective, everyone leaves a legacy."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF LEGACY:
Moral man has only two goals in life - To honor the integrity of his ancestors and to sow these seeds for his descendants."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION:
The one who wins the most battles is the one who chooses which battles to enter."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION:
Sometimes it's advantageous to purposely lose a battle in order to win the war."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF HAPPINESS:
Happiness is being guilt free."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF HISTORY:
History, in and of itself, is just memories. Memories, coupled with extrapolation, are the lessons of history."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF HISTORY:
Christians and Jews are the epitome of decent, law-abiding, productive citizens; and as such, have raised the moral, ethical and living standards of all peoples."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF MEMORIES:
The best memories are those that are forever melded to the sentimental portion of the mind."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF VISION:
Some have trouble seeing the forest for the trees while others seem to be troubled seeing the trees for the forest."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF CREATING IDEAS:
Play solitaire. Sleep on it. Repeat as necessary"
"KLEIN'S LAW OF WISDOM:
Youth is fraught with the futility of convincing your parents you know what you're doing. Parenthood is fraught with the futility of imparting your wisdom upon your children. Grand parenting is fraught with futility of observing your children trying to impart wisdom on your grandchildren."
"KLEIN'S LAW OF GRANDPARENTING:
Grandparenting generates a capacity to love far greater than you ever thought possible."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF CHRISTMAS:
Christmas is an American National Holiday. It ALSO might be a religious holy day, or a holiday in other countries, but it is - in the United States of America - a de facto, official, certified, recognized National Holiday. Ramadan, Chanukah, etc. are not."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF CHRISTMAS:
The Christmas Tree may or may not be a religious symbol, but it most assuredly is a representation of Santa Claus and our National Holiday. As such, it belongs on government property."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF CHRISTMAS:
Placing a decorated Christmas tree, sans religious ornamentation, in the public domain is expected, proper and an American tradition. Manger scenes, Menorahs or KKK crosses are a different matter and have no standing for placement on public property."
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF CHRISTMAS GREETINGS:
To wish someone a Merry Christmas, doesn't necessarily mean that you wish them anything other than they have a happy 25th of December. Nor does it mean that you, if not a Christian, are accepting their beliefs or forsaking yours."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF CHRISTMAS GREETINGS:
For a Christian to wish a non-Christian a merry Christmas is the epitome of what this special day is all about. The Christian is saying, "This is my special day and I wish that your day will be as wonderful as my day promises to be."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF CHRISTMAS GREETINGS:
For a non-Christian to receive 'Merry Christmas' from a Christian is a great compliment as in, here a fellow American, God-fearing, decent, Judeo-Christian-valued person is wishing me a good day. Thank you."
"KLEIN'S 4th LAW OF CHRISTMAS GREETINGS:
When a non-Christian wishes a Christian a merry Christmas, he or she is saying, 'I applaud and honor your right to celebrate this day that stands for the good in mankind and our common values that make this country what it is...and thanks for the day off.'"
"KLEIN'S 1st LAW OF CHRISTMAS WISHES:
To my fellow non-Christian friends: Please join me in honoring this day by reflecting on how fortunate we are to live in a country that not only allows us to choose and practice our own religion, but protects these rights."
"KLEIN'S 2nd LAW OF CHRISTMAS WISHES:
To religious fundamentalists, be they Christian, Jewish, atheist, Muslim, etc.: Please recognize that when you try to force your beliefs on others with guns, law suits, government sanctification or "majority rule" you're not exhibiting American values, merely, your own insecurities."
"KLEIN'S 3rd LAW OF CHRISTMAS WISHES:
To the little kids (of all religions) who are able to grasp Santa Claus and really don't understand religious matter: Enjoy. It's the only time in your life you will be happily conned and guilt free."
TRUTHS AND LAWS BY OTHERS
"Lt. UMBAUGH'S LAW:
One either never carries a firearm, or one always carries, but one never sometimes carries."
"TOM HYMAN'S LAW OF FRIENDSHIP:
Friendship trumps moments of emotional stupidity and forgiveness trumps pride."
"LOVIE'S LAW:
I'm not whining, I'm just reiterating the facts."
"GEORGE W. BUSH'S LAW OF JUSTICE:
Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done."
"CHK'S LAW OF BUSINESS:
Little troubles now, big troubles later."
"BREADWINNERS LAW:
Most breadwinners lead lives of quiet desperation."
"HELL'S ANGELS LAW:
Three can keep a secret . . . if two are dead."
"LAW OF POLITICAL PARTIES:
The Republican is the one who was robbed last night; The Democrat is the one who was arrested last night; The Libertarian is the one who shot the robber last night."
"LAW OF STATURE:
Better to be an old has-been than a never has-been."
"LAW OF EXPERIENCE:
One who claims to have ten years experience might only have one year's experience ten times."
"SIR EDWARD GREY'S LAW OF THE UNITED STATES:
A gigantic boiler. Once the fire is lighted under it there is no limit to the power it can generate."
"BORDER PATROLMAN BILL JORDAN'S LAW OF GUNFIGHTS:
There are no second place winners."
"LAW OF WINNING:
The next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing."
"LAW OF MARRIAGE:
Everyone experiences three loves; The one they marry, the one they're glad they didn't marry and the one that got away."
"OLD JEWISH LAW OF LIFE:
You get too pushy. . .nobody likes you."
"OLD COUNTRY LAW:
The door might not always be locked, but the gun is always loaded."
"LAW OF MOTOR VEHICLE OPERATION:
Keep the rubber side down."
"MOTORCYCLE RIDER'S LAW:
There are old motorcycle riders and there are bold motorcycle riders, but there are no old, bold motorcycle riders."
"POLICE OFFICERS LAW OF I.D.:
Badges? We don't got to show you no stinkin' badges."
"POLITICIANS LAW OF THE GOLDEN RULE:
What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine."
RICH MAN'S LAW OF THE GOLDEN RULE:
He who has the gold, makes the rules."
"DESPOT'S LAW OF THE GOLDEN RULE:
Do unto others before they do unto to you."